Ok. I'm NOT going to be the drummer for Godsmack. I had told a few people about the possibility, but kept most of it under my hat so I wouldn't jinx anything. It didn't work.

I had found out that they had parted ways with Tommy, and I had been corresponding with their management about the position. Some people gave me great recommendations, and they received my promo and liked it.

Then they made it official that Shannon Larkin was the new drummer. Rats.

Shannon is definitely the man for the job; he's a mother of a player. It would have been cool though.

But…if I was to take a gig like that, then guess what? See you later comedy career! I'm not prepared to do that. I repeat. I'M NOT PREPARED TO DO THAT! As weird as it seems, I've invested so much into my one-man routine that it's what I count on. If I were to throw away my comedy career, it would have to take one hell of a band, so don't count on it. I love making people laugh far too much. So, on with the show.

August! Yeah! What a great end to a great summer. While June and July were on the slower side, August was jam packed with lots of fun gigs, featuring yours truly on much better behavior.

August started at Patrick's Pub in New Hampshire, which turned out to be pretty fun. The next day I had to head out to the Great Lakes and Toronto for some gigs.

I left for Saginaw, Michigan at one a.m. with my buddy Rocko in tow, and pulled into town at seven p.m. the next night, an hour before show time. Having driven the entire way, I was delirious, crabby, and reeking of perspiration and ninety-nine cent value meals. I can't leave out that have my face was brutally sunburned.

The gig went over fine; I went into autopilot once I hit the stage, and the crowd was fun. I got Rocko a spot, and he did great. We immediately fled to the hotel afterwards and collapsed.

The next day was spent flying up route 75 to the upper peninsula of Michigan, on our way to Harris, which is on the Wisconsin border, at Chip-ins casino. It was a beautiful drive, the lakes are absolutely enormous, and I still don't know what pasties are. (not the stripper kind, it's food)

The show was great, the accommodations were excellent, and my co-workers were excellent. I worked with Flip Schultz and Steve Sabo, both super guys, and we enjoyed some post gig Filet Mingnon before retiring early.

The next day was the trek to Toronto. I wasn't scheduled in Toronto, but I wanted to check out the clubs there, and see if I could sneak onto a show. I decided to hit Yuk-Yuks. They were kind enough to give me a set, and I went up and blew it out. I'm not bragging here, it was just one of those nights where everything hits. I couldn't even do the 'car' bit, I didn't leave any meat on the bone for myself. And get this, the booker didn't see my set. Pissed, I left, and decided to hit the town.

I had transmissions with Raymi the Minx, who was scheduled to show me Canada, but unfortunately, she was stuck at work. Oh well. Keep sending me pictures Raymi. I dig 'em.

Rocko and I were relaxing on a patio, and next thing you know, a guy gets stabbed right in front of us. Now people, I used to live in Baltimore, I've been to almost all of the awful cities in America, and the last place I expected to see a guy get cut was Canada. Weird.

Despite that, I loved Toronto, and I can't wait to go back. I'm working on it. And no, I didn't go to any strip clubs. It was a stupid Canadian holiday, so they were closed.

I won't bore you with the details of the trip, I wish I could, there was so many funny moments that made it memorable, it would just take too much thought that I don't have at the moment. Ask me sometime.

I've also spent August cleaning up my act a bit, and I'm not talking about comedy. I've been spending time exercising and not spending as much time partying…it feels good. I want to quit smoking too…I hope I can do it. It's freed up more time to write and relax, something I need to do both of. I've been working out a ton of new jokes, and a lot of them are working. I'm thrilled about that. Most of the guest spots I've done all month are all new stuff, so it's been tough to go up and throw all this untried stuff at an audience. It's more of a challenge and a thrill, so I'm digging it. It's a blessing to work with such great acts who just make you want to get better. I have to say; New England breeds some badass comics.

Here's some cool news…I'm getting a showcase night at the Comedy Connection in Portland! That's right boys and girls, One Sunday a month; yours truly will be your humble host, featuring 6-8 Portland and Boston comics. The first show is September 15th! Don't you dare miss it! I'll have 50 free passes, if you want some…email me.

I'm off to New York again for some club work upstate next week, a private in Connecticut, and coming back for my stepbrothers wedding! Then…on the 20th, it's my birthday! Perhaps I'll celebrate. As of now, I'll be in town...look me up, let's hit the town. The more the merrier.