It's amazing how life can surprise you every now and again. Sometimes, it can just grab you and prove to you that you're wrong. This happens to me quite often, as I'm the type who is quick to judge people, conclude that they are morons, and move on quickly with my life. Or as well documented in previous columns, my handy man skills. My skills are next to nothing, so every time I pick up a hammer, it's a painful learning experience. I could change, I guess, but then I'd have nothing to write about. My life is a folly, a comedy of errors, and my job is to relay it to my readers and stand up fans in a way that only I can, which is sophomoric, grammatically incorrect, and damn cute, if I don't say so myself.

This week though, something cool happened. I had to run some cable in my new pad, so I jaunted to the hardware store. Within minutes, I acquired the correct parts, brought them to the new abode, grabbed the hammer, started swinging, and just a few moments later, I was done. I sat in astonishment at how I didn't screw it up, and a tear formed in my eye. I'm not sure if the tear was out of success, or if it was just fear that I wouldn't have anything to write about. I felt baffled. I had actually done something right, and I'm not sure I knew how to handle it. Before I knew it though, I would have a topic. I would have an experience that would prove to that yes, despite my recent victory, I was still an idiot, just a more confident one.

I was faced to deal with someone I had written off as a complete tool months ago, and every time I encountered him since, I felt justified in my feelings. This guy was nothing short of a retread in hillbilly clothing, and when he spoke it felt like walking into a freshly occupied public restroom; I just had to leave the vicinity, tout suite. But today was different. I woke up knowing I was an asshole, I just didn't feel like being one when I encountered this particular stumbling excretion. Perhaps it was enlightenment, but probably not. The conversation oddly got off to a good start. I think we started talking about boobies, which never fails to stimulate my sedated intellect, and it just snowballed from there. We went on and on and on, which seemed like forever, but was most likely four minutes, which is a marathon conversation for me.

He was the first to leave, another oddity for me, and upon departure, I couldn't help but curse myself for disliking this person. How could I have been so wrong? Here we had, a perfectly nice person that I had, for all intents and purposes written off due to a poor snap judgment. I had pulled yet another high and mighty, and allowed someone's first impressions burn into me, disallowing any chance of friendship. I was, without doubt, in the wrong, and I was prepared to stuff my face with crow.

I guess people aren't that bad after all. Perhaps I've turned over a new leaf, but most likely not. I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow with my all too familiar scowl, and move on as nothing happened. But I need more topics, so off to the old port I go, so I can continue to screw up my life so you have some to read when you're on the toilet, or like many people do, utilize my column space once you have run out of toilet paper.