Worst. Summer. Ever.

No bones about it-this summer sucked. As documented in previous columns, I endured a stress filled summer, with no time to enjoy the beauty of warm weather. I just slumped along, accomplishing what I could, and now, here it is October. Summer ends for many on Labor day, when route 95 is cluttered with minivans and mid life Chryslers jettisoning back to the fruitful lands they came from, whereas for me, the buck stops at the sight of excrement flushing out of a cows ass at the Fryeburg fair. And yes, I remember to not wear white. This year, the sight of relief for this cow allowed me to blow a sigh of relief, as I knew that it just might be over. The summer from hell has closed its door, and I'm off to frost covered whiter pastures. Never one for snow, I'm a tad apprehensive, but at this point, I don't care. You could shove a ski pole in my rear end, and I'll proudly ride it down the hill screaming Halle-fricking-luiah. This summer has redefined suck for me, and yet, I just received some more daunting news.

I'm a father.

Receiving this kind of information is always a difficult task for man-it's so much responsibility and effort, and it causes serious strife within. For me, I was shocked. I can't imagine a little one looking up to me as their father, and I stress at the thought of expenses, but mostly, the responsibility of being a good father has weighed on my shoulders greatly.

Here's the worst part. My fiancée is not the mother. I have taken take this baby in as my own, and she has to raise it as her own. This has caused some serious problems in our relationship, but so far, she's dealing with it all right. She has been strong about it, and I couldn't be more grateful, as my daughter looks to her as a spiritual and mothering beacon.

She's a beautiful little girl too. Her name is Bella. Bella stands for beautiful in Italian, and I though I am of predominantly Irish descent, “Bella” is a better term for beautiful than “Drunken.”

She is only four pounds. She's a Pug. And I'm smitten in love with my daughter. My life has a new meaning, a new direction, and a new source of happiness to draw upon. The dark days of summer are behind me, and I eagerly await the cold so I can snuggle up with my four-legged friend.

She poops. I am happy to pick it up. She pees. I clean that too. She gets hungry. I feed her. I am happy to accommodate this little darling, because that's what Daddy does. Daddy makes his little girl happy, and she makes him happy. It's the cycle of life that I'm happy to partake in. And I'm proud to do it.

The beauty of dogs is that they never disappoint you, they always love you, and when the going gets tough-they stand by you though the worst and the best. We could learn a lot from dogs. For example, we can poop wherever we want, and eventually, somebody will pick it up. We just gotta love. And I'm thrilled to do just that. Now I don't have to buy any toilet paper.