Summer is in full swing folks….July was nuts! I seem to remember last July being like this. One of complete mayhem! I know how to have fun, make no mistake about it. I think I've been having a little too much fun lately….hopefully the fall will slow that down a bit.

I had a blast in July. I really did. Andover was a blast…except for the second show on Saturday. A group of ten drunken guys showed up to celebrate a bachelor party. (What guys do you know NOT go to a strip club for a bachelor party?)

They wouldn't shut up, security was elsewhere, so I basically spent twenty plus minutes yelling at these buffoons. I actually enjoyed it. I didn't do any jokes (I couldn't) so being paid to belittle a gaggle of stains was rather empowering. Screw 'em.

NYC was a real hoot…. Special thanks to Sherry Davey and her husband Larry for putting us up for a night. We got to her house late, which was in the Bergen Beach section of Brooklyn, which is a notorious Mafioso type of town, and with my love of gangster movies and The Sopranos being as high up on my likes list as it is…well, I was in heaven. I even heard a Tony Soprano type yelling at a kid. I was thrilled. It made my trip.

The audition was ridonkulous. Allow me to paint you a picture. To be accepted into the Vegas comedy festival, (this is the first one, and it's credibility has been questioned by several professionals) you have to perform your act in front of two judges. No sweat, I've paid enough dues to handle that, but the judges were comics…hmm. This is weird.

Don't think I'm blaming anybody for not getting accepted, I'm not, but, I'm a joke writer. A stand up comic. The majority of the people in the waiting room were not.

One guy was panicking because he had run out of balloons for his magic tricks, one was a super model, and one was doing his set which consited of nothing but Opera singing. And there I was telling my cohorts how much I hate comics. For my comic friends, I love you,but sometimes this business makes me want to puke. Some guy or gal can walk off the street and get a sitcom, and be labeled a stand up comic turned actor. If that situation happened to me, I wouldn't stop my stand up. I'm a comic, not a party favor.

The funniest part was, after my set, which I felt went well, a judge asked, “are you planning on coming out to the festival?” Ha Ha! I replied sardonically: “Thanks for letting me get my hopes up before the rejection letter.”

In a nutshell, this guy told me I wouldn't be accepted by trying to sell me a vacation, which costs 400 bucks to attend. That was a real turnoff. It was like an Internet pop up ad that says, “Click here for your free gift!” And then you find out you get a free pen for buying a six-year subscription to a magazine you've never heard of. Hey Doc, thanks for the bitter pill.

It was a good time, though, no regrets.

I've been popping up down to Cocktails in OOB lately for the Monday shows, and late night debauchery, it's been fun. This last Monday was weird, it was a very full but terrible audience. They were as bad of a comedy crowd I've ever seen. But…the beers were a buck. No regrets!

The Bangor gig was a scream…Caroline Plummer and I did it together, with Bob Seibel, and it rocked. Caroline owned them from the start, and I went up and had my set of the month. I love that gig. Just love it.

I went and saw Judas Priest in concert, my cynical observations are already etched, and I'll post it in the Spank me files once I get a moment.

I'm off to Gilford, NH, Thursday for a summer dose of Patrick's Pub, and then a jaunt to Michigan to work a casino gig up there. I'm bringing my buddy Rocko to give him a little taste of the road, and keep me company. I'm trying to secure some stage time in Toronto for Monday night, and I just may run into my friend/web nemesis Raymi the Minx,(the girl who posts the pix of herself on my guestbook) who may convince me that Canada is indeed the shiznit. We'll find out. I'll sprinke my magic dust all over Ontario, and take it from there. She helped me find inexpensive lodging, which was very cool....maybe she's not all that bad.