So that was Christmas. I couldn't be happier that that stinkin' holiday is over with. Way to much stress to deal with, and the end result is always that you max out your credit cards by buying for someone else, and in the mean time, you get the same crummy non returnable gifts. It's not fair. I never win.

It's as if we've all forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. While we're all cozy around the tree, and unwrapping everything that is materialistic and meaningless, we forget why we're here. To celebrate the most religious holiday in the drunken Catholic and Christian handbook, to pay homage to the big guy himself. Mr. Santa Claus. Happy Birthday Santa!

Our guy Santa died on the cross for our gifts, he hid behind a rock for three days with Bugs Bunny to ensure that we get Chocalate, and I'm sure he did many other things, but I'm not religious, and I haven't listened to much warrior metal from the 80's, so I don't know what else the man in red has done for us.

He's got a good gig, though. I'd love to sit on my fat ass all year while my employ of little people makes toys for Parker brothers and Hasbro. Wait a second..... he sits on his rich fat ass while his harem of dwarves makes gifts that he profits on..........I've got it! Santa is Kathie Lee Gifford! No wonder I got so many crappy clothes this year. He's got his own little sweat shop up in the North Pole! He rests all year, Kathie Lee makes him fat food all year, his little elves are under paid.....and the reindeer, the poor, poor reindeer. The shit they have to endure. Carrying our almighty Santa Christ all over the world, bringing toys to the families with money.

It's funny, though, growing up, my family didn't have much money, so I always found it odd that all the rich kids got all kinds of gifts from Santa, but I got a second hand lego set. That's it. It was missing most of the pieces too. It was a Lego construction site set, and it was continually under construction. Kind of like my own little big dig. I was happy though. But what I REALLY wanted was my own Atari 2600. Who in my generation didn't? That was the holy grail of gifts.

But I digress. It's not about the gifts. It's about spending time with with the ones you love who are not incarcerated, and with the ones who are not incarcerated but you can't stand, and with the alcoholic ones who still can't believe you're in your twenties, and still don't know your name. It's about sharing. Sharing your sucess stories so your scumbag cousins can hack off you and still fail. And sharing the cheesy potatoes that Nanny made with everyone, so all that's left for you is a tiny spoonful. I got the food last, because I'm 25. Just a kid. I get to sit at the card table in the living room with 6 year olds. Joy to the world. No more potatoes.

What about the gifts? As a kid, the whole world to me was that Atari. But I got it though............this Christmas. Happy Holidays.