Vices make us who we are. They control our thoughts, our approach to life, and they become part of our chemical makeup if we stick to them too long. They suck.

Gamblers have no control over their addiction, they chase their next high, only to turn it into a low, alcoholics spend their days waiting for their next drink, drug addicts look for ways to get money out of their closest friends for their next fix, and then you have me, who smokes cigarettes just so I won't be an asshole.

A while back, I wrote of my newfound caffeine addiction. I still have it. When I combined that with my penchant for tobacco, a marriage of shaken sedation was founded. But like many controlling spouses, this cocktail owns my ass, and I'm defenseless.

I didn't start smoking to be cool, I was just curious. I liked it so much that it was just something to do to pass the time. Now, fourteen years later, I still pass the time with my trusty butts, and I never discriminate. I carry them with me everywhere. They suppress any urge to kill. But I'm thinking it may be time…

I started at age fourteen. I had yet to hit puberty, so my manly oats were far from sewn. My point is that cigarettes have been who I am for ALL of my adult life. The way I see the world, the way I combat the world, and the way I smell. I'm a smoker, through and through, tried and true. This is who I am. But I'm thinking it may be time…

I'm twenty-eight now. The timber of my voice now altered by my beloved vice, my shortness of breath is all completely attributed to my choice to smoke. The upside is, I'm not a fighter. I don't believe in fighting. I'd rather walk away, have a smoke, and talk about how stupid the other person is. If I stopped, I may seek revenge on all who has pissed me off. The problem with that is my inherent wimpiness. Tobacco has kept me soft. If I actually acted upon these impulses, I'd be covered in black and blues, but at least I'd smell good. But I'm thinking it may be time…to try.

I went to a Doctor yesterday, and he gave me a prescription for a mood lifting smoking cessation tool. I avoid prescription drugs, I don't believe in them at all. In fact, I hate them. I'm not looking to replace the sedated me with a pill happy me, but maybe it's worth a shot. I'm out of options, and there is no bare skin left on my body for more patches. I look like a smelly rag doll. Here I am folks, Hacketty-Ann.

In my opinion, drugs are the devil. I've seen so many friends be totally consumed and ruined by drugs as simple as marijuana, so I stay away from them. My imagination is vivid enough to bar the use of them. Yet, I contradict myself by lighting a sedating smoke. But I'm thinking it may be time…

I enjoy the act of smoking. It's everything else about it I deplore. It's time for me to at least try. Time to try to live life as a non-smoker. But what if I realize that life actually sucks, and my body has been trying to tell me that for years by flicking a switch inside of me, commanding me to take measures to shorten my time here? Well, I guess I'll start again then. But I'm thinking it may be time…to try.

Words of caution…if I smell good, stay away.