My older sister has a picture for every occasion. She always has a camera in her possession, and when she isn't taking pictures, she's making crafty collages of photos of moments, or preparing handmade cards with photos of these moments. Yes, this is her way of remembering these friends and times, for she truly cares about people that much. I, on the other hand, have never chosen to bother with that shit. I see what she does as a means to put everything back together after a night of hard drinking. For instance, if I wake up naked on a Ferris wheel, there's a chance that a certain Nikon Coolpix holds the key to my query.

I find the answers to often be a bad thing. If I have forgotten certain moments in time; then they were not intended to be remembered. These moments surely sucked that much, and that's ok. Life is about peaks and valleys, some moments are monumental, but most of the time we sleep. There really isn't that much to talk about, so why walk around with a camera? That's one less hand to hold a beer with.

This has loosely been my philosophy for as long as I can remember. My darling fiancée has a different outlook. She seems to think that since I wake up next to her instead of inside Ferris wheels now that life is worth documenting. And since a popular big box retailer was running a special on digital cameras, she talked me into grabbing one.

Now I'm hooked. I remember why I didn't take pictures now. It wasn't because of the things I mentioned before; it was because I was scared of the look on the face of the person who developed them, when I went to pick up the pictures.

You see, I don't fancy a group hug style of picture, I prefer getting what I refer to as 'candid' shots of people using the restroom, couples fighting, and photos of random strangers experiencing serious misfortune. Topless pictures are great too, especially when they are girls. Due to this little box of technology, I've definitely realized how vain I am. If I didn't know it then, I know it now. If I could only have a picture of me snapping a photo of my own mug while sitting on the toilet, then so many lifelong questions could be answered. Not only does it encompass three of Freud's theories, it really makes my smile look great.

My fiancée looked at this purchase as a means to capture our wonderful moments together, while I enjoy taking pictures of us going poop. My neighbors didn't like us then, but now, it's a whole new ballgame. The truth is out, and so is the sun. Outdoor photo ops are here again, the bashful be damned! Let them throw their rocks at me, I'll be sure to wear my Helmut Newton. Let them say what they want.

I may never have the skills that my sister has, and I will never be a photographer for Playboy, but I don't need the skills or credentials, I just need extra batteries. The world is my supermodel, and there is no censor, I have free will to feed my imagination and share it with no one, and I'll never have to face the embarrassment of showing my face at a Fotomat again. Inhibitions be damned, and be sure to say cheese.