Ok, so here comes another shameless plug...............

I’ve been spending the weekend developing my website. www.shanekinney.com. Yep, it’s a way to promote all things Shaner. I have officially sold out. It feels remarkably refreshing, like a cool crisp Diet coke$$$$ or a nice cup of Sanka $$$$$. Corporations take heed, and place your banners with me, lets’s make some money together. Kind of like the easy to use programs developed by the courteous staff at Fidelity investments. $$$$$.

All kidding aside, I have celebrated my one year anniversary of being behind a computer this month. Before this weekend, the only tasks I knew were to send and receive e mails, go to websites, and download booby movies. Other than that, I knew nothing. HTML? Whatever. I don’t need your stinkin’ HTML. Unless,of course, I want to build a site. So I had to learn. My spiritual guru, (or cumbersome roommate) is the mastermind behind my bands site. www.brokenclown.com $$$$$. Through his guidance, I was able to scale the binary walls of HTML. I now feel like an official computer geek. I feel immortal. I’m ready to hack into the systems of some Swiss bank accounts (the ones they used to sing about in the heyday of heavy metal) transfer funds and get rich. First off, I should probably learn to copy and paste correctly. Tougher than I thought.

I embrace technology. I think that forward thinking minds and machines are the key to a better future, but I have a hard time saving the princess from Super Mario brothers. (the FIRST one)! So how in the hell am I gonna build this site?

My roommate was patient, and showed me the way. Once I grasped it, that was it. Off I went. It’s mostly text, some reprinted Spank my ass columns for you to enjoy, some funny road stories, calendar, etc., and some pictures. I don’t have too many graphics yet, I’m not exactly sure how to do that. If you’re looking for computer genius, look further. You’d be lucky to get the password to get to the last board on Contra from me. But I’m staying humble and getting there.

A weird thing has come over me though. Every piece of knowledge I attain in HTML, I can actually feel a piece of coolness go away. No kidding. Yesterday, I would go to the mall to get some snappy wears. Today, I went to go for one reason only. The dream machine. Yesterday, I’d have gone to the video store to rent some hip indie flick. Today, The Star Wars trilogy. Yesterday, beer. Today, strawberry soda. Yesterday, comedy central. Today, the history channel. Yesterday, women. Today, women. Ok, so some things don’t change, thank god. I was about to remove my busted glasses and cry a puddle of tears into my pocket protector.

But I digress, I feel like a new man, ready to face the challenges of this magic thing called the computer. If only I told you that it took me two days to find out that you couldn’t go left on Pitfall. (the FIRST one)!